Suicide is so relative. Sometimes I wish I could go through with it; leave this world and move on to a world that is not filled with let downs, heartbreak, and assholes. Particularly the assholes that surround me. One day you wake up and life is so freakin wonderful and you know you dont deserve it. Thats okay though because happiness never stays around anyway.
I look at a very important friend of mine and he loves me. I dont know why he loves me he just does. He thinks I posses innocence or something which is absolutly ridiculous. I lost all of my innocence as a child as some of you know. But he reminds me that love exists.
Sometimes I want love to exist so much that I create what I think is a two-sided relationship with someone and really I am the only one in love.
Have you ever felt like some of the most important people in your lives dont even care if you are there? That is how I feel alot of the time. Thats why suicide doesnt always sound so bad. Maybe if I wasnt here then I could look down (or up) on the people who didnt care when I was around. Then I could see if they cared when I wasnt around. Maybe it is true that you dont know what you have until you lose it. Most likely that is a load of crap, though.